One of the things that irritates me about the stigma of clinical depression - that makes it even harder to seek help and open up to others - is when people misinterpret depression as a lack of resiliency or coping skills. It often gets confused with adjustment disorder and situational depression. I have seen this a lot.
A couple years ago I submitted a waiver for an Army flight physical due to being on an antidepressant. I had to pass this physical in order to qualify for some positions I was applying for that could propel my career forward and likely guarantee me promotion. It was rejected, though likely not even looked at as a couple people told me. The stinging comment at the end of the waiver denial statement was that I could apply again, "when the condition clears up."
I have seen this stigma perpetuated amongst my colleagues, even when they are in the medical field. Some people in response shared their "coping mechanisms" of having a beer at the end of the day, or just being brutally honest, 'instead of keeping my feelings down inside' like my colleague said last week when I mentioned my waiver rejection.
During my time in the military I have sat through dozens of hours of mandatory resiliency training - both in-person with large groups and mandatory on-line training. One time it was directed towards medical providers, and the only thing my stressed out colleagues and I could think about was all of the work that we felt burdened with and the charting that we had to get back to. The focus on resiliency, while helpful to some, can be dangerous to those who suffer deep chemical imbalance, and this is why: It puts the focus on healing based on what someone is presumed to lack, and not what they truly need. This stigmatizes depression even more as a weakness, a sign of emotional immaturity, and a character flaw.
I consider myself a pretty resilient person. I had a challenging undergraduate degree and I endured difficult medical training. I have treated victims of homicide and patients of failed attempted suicides. I have deployed to Afghanistan in a volatile area. I have lived in another country that had at the time been recently affected by economic and political disaster, and I struggled to learn its language. I substitute taught high school. I have had a couple experiences where I could have nearly died. Someone once tried to rob me at gunpoint. My hands have been inside a person's chest more than once - desperately trying all attempts to save them from the inevitable. I have traveled on my own to six different countries where English is not the primary language. I have ran multiple marathons and half-marathons. I have been to many funerals of friends and family who ranged from young children to young adults to the frail elderly.
I think I am a pretty resilient person; but resiliency out of my own efforts could only do so much. The feeling of my brain decomposing and the gravity of a downward spiral cannot be changed with 'happy thoughts.' I believe in exercise, but it's difficult when it takes 15 minutes just to put on my shoes - if I even do get out of the house. Intrusive thoughts cannot always be calmed with a gratitude journal. Watching a comedy does not always bring back a laugh that has been silent for several months.
There is a need of resiliency for everyone, but for those who struggle with clinical mental illness, sometimes it's just a Band-Aid on an amputated limb.
A couple years ago I submitted a waiver for an Army flight physical due to being on an antidepressant. I had to pass this physical in order to qualify for some positions I was applying for that could propel my career forward and likely guarantee me promotion. It was rejected, though likely not even looked at as a couple people told me. The stinging comment at the end of the waiver denial statement was that I could apply again, "when the condition clears up."
I have seen this stigma perpetuated amongst my colleagues, even when they are in the medical field. Some people in response shared their "coping mechanisms" of having a beer at the end of the day, or just being brutally honest, 'instead of keeping my feelings down inside' like my colleague said last week when I mentioned my waiver rejection.
During my time in the military I have sat through dozens of hours of mandatory resiliency training - both in-person with large groups and mandatory on-line training. One time it was directed towards medical providers, and the only thing my stressed out colleagues and I could think about was all of the work that we felt burdened with and the charting that we had to get back to. The focus on resiliency, while helpful to some, can be dangerous to those who suffer deep chemical imbalance, and this is why: It puts the focus on healing based on what someone is presumed to lack, and not what they truly need. This stigmatizes depression even more as a weakness, a sign of emotional immaturity, and a character flaw.
I consider myself a pretty resilient person. I had a challenging undergraduate degree and I endured difficult medical training. I have treated victims of homicide and patients of failed attempted suicides. I have deployed to Afghanistan in a volatile area. I have lived in another country that had at the time been recently affected by economic and political disaster, and I struggled to learn its language. I substitute taught high school. I have had a couple experiences where I could have nearly died. Someone once tried to rob me at gunpoint. My hands have been inside a person's chest more than once - desperately trying all attempts to save them from the inevitable. I have traveled on my own to six different countries where English is not the primary language. I have ran multiple marathons and half-marathons. I have been to many funerals of friends and family who ranged from young children to young adults to the frail elderly.
I think I am a pretty resilient person; but resiliency out of my own efforts could only do so much. The feeling of my brain decomposing and the gravity of a downward spiral cannot be changed with 'happy thoughts.' I believe in exercise, but it's difficult when it takes 15 minutes just to put on my shoes - if I even do get out of the house. Intrusive thoughts cannot always be calmed with a gratitude journal. Watching a comedy does not always bring back a laugh that has been silent for several months.
There is a need of resiliency for everyone, but for those who struggle with clinical mental illness, sometimes it's just a Band-Aid on an amputated limb.
No comments:
Post a Comment